I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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