My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
