Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
