he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
