I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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