I bet he comes in French.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Let's get the cat blown out
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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