I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Mom said you looked used
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
