Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
