He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
