you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
