My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
How's work?
Spinning.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
