gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
