So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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