Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Randomize