After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I have post one night stand depression
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
