I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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