I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
