Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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