Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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