I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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