he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
