I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
