google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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