You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
