I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
