she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
