Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize