Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
