You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
