How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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