just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize