I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
