I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You are the jesus of drinking
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
