i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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