I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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