Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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