Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
