So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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