after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
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