Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Congratulations! We have a period
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