So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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