um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
As shirtless as possible
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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