literally had 100 drinks last night.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize