the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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