A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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