im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
