just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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