You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
