I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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