I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
