I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
