My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
