Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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