3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
