summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
