She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
tell me about the fingering
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