My pussy is not your playground.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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