I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
