I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I can text with my tongue
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
