Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
