i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
