I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
