so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
