Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
