Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
