help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
